That sort of thing! Isn’t it just ‘typical’?

Relocating is not a matter of calling the movers, having them pack up your stuff and then shifting to a new home. It is an intricate web of activities which must be planned, sometimes in a specific sequence. Lack of adequate planning inevitably leads to lack of success, some tears, much swearing and possibly ending up in a botched half-baked move.

Besides most of the obvious projects to be completed before move-day, our list has an item called “Cancel the Milk.” No, we don’t have our milk delivered anymore – its a generic term for contracts, static data, agreements and other arrangements.

It entails contacting each service provider (phone, email, or both) and cancelling their service (and ensuring, more importantly, that there are no bills payable after move-day), or perhaps instructing them to change the email address to one which will still exist.

The sub-list reads: Bank, Credit Card, Investment, Pension, Satellite package, TV licence, landline and ADSL contract, mobile contract, car insurances, householders insurance, City taxes, Inland Revenue, Medical Aid…

I get to do this job, because, I’m reliable informed, “You’re good at that sort of thing..”

That sort of thing? Come on, that’s a euphemism for “dirty jobs”.

Ahem, what sort of thing? Waiting on the darned phone, whilst their consultants are busy (probably on smoke breaks or tea-times) and will not be very long… unless you would prefer to call back later… Hello…?

I find that most of these companies prefer to do the change by phone. Apparently, there is so much fraud via the Internet, that they….  hmm… One can never tell these days. Anyway, I’m the one who needs the action, so I knuckle down and start dialling. Top of the list is the bank – no, I get told, you need to physically visit the closest branch and… “make sure you’ve got your ID book and that sort of thing with you!”

The same for the credit card. This starts to sound boring – queues in banks are not my favourite.

Bottom line: It’s now all arranged and hopefully done, except for the landline/ADSL service from Telkom SA. I’ve sat on the line for 45 minutes waiting for 10210 option 4 to become available. Twice. I’m a bugger for punishment. So for my next trick. A cunning plan to drive to their shop in the mall and to surprise the fellow whilst he is not looking.

No surprise there… he knows nothing about discontinuation of their services. Mind you, I get the impression that he knows  nothing about everything. That’s a plus!

“No, sir. You can only do that sort of thing over the phone.”

He made it sound both lewd and objectionable. That sort of thing.

I’ve now spent my third 45-minute spell on 10210 option 4. No surprise there, I still couldn’t get that sort of thing done yet. Out of a dozen tasks, most of which needed me to contact the service provider by phone, the call about cancelling the phone is the only one which has failed. Dismally. Isn’t that just typical?

I’ll give it a rest and try again tomorrow. Luckily, I’m not busy trying to pack, and paint, and clean, and plan! So I can look forward to spending another productive 45 minutes … oh, for a speaker-phone!